The Habit of a Good Conscience And Mary’s 4am Thoughts

TODAY'S READING FROM -- in addition to text from print version of Oswald Chambers Daily Devotional:  My Utmost For His Highest -- Date: May 13

God’s commands are given to the life of His Son in us, consequently to the human nature in which His Son has been formed, His commands are difficult, but immediately we obey they become divinely easy.

Conscience is that faculty in me which attaches itself to the highest that I know, and tells me what the highest I know demands that I do. It is the eye of the soul which looks out either towards God or towards what it regards as the highest, and therefore conscience records differently in different people. If I am in the habit of steadily facing myself with God, my conscience will always introduce God’s perfect law and indicate what I should do. The point is, will I obey? I have to make an effort to keep my conscience so sensitive that I walk without offence. I should be living in such perfect sympathy with God’s Son, that in every circumstance the spirit of my mind is renewed, and I “make out” at once “what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

God always educates us down to the scruple. Is my ear so keen to hear the tiniest whisper of the Spirit that I know what I should do? “Grieve not the Holy Spirit.” He does not come with a voice like thunder; His voice is so gentle that it is easy to ignore it. The one thing that keeps the conscience sensitive to Him is the continual habit of being open to God on the inside. When there is any debate, quit. “Why shouldn’t I do this?” You are on the wrong track. There is no debate possible when conscience speaks. At your peril, you allow one thing to obscure your inner communion with God. Drop it, whatever it is, and see that you keep your inner vision clear.


I have a difficult time sleeping. Anyone who really knows me is aware of this fact. This, along with my ‘physical disability’ require me to have short accounts with everyone. Meaning, I do not hold grudges; at least not for long, as they’re simply too heavy and physically vexing for me to embrace and get fully acquainted. Therefore, by sheer happenstance, I maintain a very clear conscience knowing full well that my motivations are typically for the good – meaning to never to hurt others. I say typically because I know full-well that I am in no wise perfect; only Jesus Christ alone was sinless, and daily, I need forgiveness from Christ for my sins. In this fact, I am merely a woman who has struggled with a lifetime of physical pain, from a work-related injury, thus allowing me to hold short accounts with myself and others.

To date, I am truly blessed to live like this. It’s been an ‘Apostle Paul style’ wounding which has given me a greater perspective on life and on the utilization of finances, as just one example. And the necessity of exercising at the YMCA to keep bones and muscles from atrophy.

I’ve made my life as simplistic and pain-free as possible, that holding court with my conscious is an everyday event; and when potential offenses arise, I am quick to apologize – but not so if this is not the case, for I am fully aware that my life, and thus my testimony is not to be tread upon like pearls thrown before swine. I know the value of Mary, a sister in Christ who is warm, compassionate and caring; a godly woman who enjoys deep relationships with a small group of chosen friends and family; and even when those few cherished friends hold me to account.

God Bless You This Day Lovey!
Mary Budesheim

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